Husband diagnosed with BPD??
Question: After a crazy 4 months of marriage (during which I thought my husband had just completely lost his mind and become emotionally abusive) he was diagnosed with BPD and gender dysphoria... I'm scared to death, I dont know how to handle this He's not working so I'm dealing with the mental issue and now supporting us... Anyone with BPD, or married to someone with BPD, is there hope for recovery? I haven't read very hopeful things... I'm worried I'll waste all this time trying to help and make things ok and they never will be?
Answers: Hi--Have hope, It will get better. Attitude is #1 in the treatment process for your husband.Treatment for borderline personality disorder has improved in recent years with the adoption of techniques specifically aimed at people with this disorder. Treatment includes:
Psychotherapy:this is the core treatment for BPD. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was designed specifically to treat the disorder. Generally conducted through individual, group and phone counseling, DBT uses a skills-based approach to teach people how to regulate their emotions, tolerate distress and improve relationships.
Medications:medications can't cure BPD, but they can help associated problems, such as depression, impulsivity and anxiety. Medications may include antidepressant, antipsychotic and antianxiety medications.
Hospitalization: at times, people with BPD may need more intense treatment in a psychiatric hospital or clinic. Hospitalization can also keep them safe from self-injury.
Because treatment can be intense and long term, people face the best chance for success when they find mental health providers with experience treating BPD.
Take Care ; )
Watch this free video on BPD by an awesome Psychologist. It's really encouraging!!! http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver...
Have hope...and, believe me, be glad you found out so soon and will be able to get help. But YOU must be strong. How much do you love him? You have to help him do what he needs. You will need to actually feed him his medications when he needs to take them, because he will forget or won't feel like it. I was married for twenty years and had it the whole time and we didn't even know it....if we had known, we would have gotten me the help I needed and I KNOW we'd still be together. But it was too late. It's not for you. Watch the movie A Beautiful Mind . It might help give you some inspiration and hope. People with BPD have extremely terrible inner pain....it's been researched and proven that we feel inner pain at a much higher intensity than most people. Imagine being in excruciating pain much of the time. What would that do to you? I've been on treament for just over a year now and am doing so much better. I'd be even better if I'd had the emotional support of a loving wife....I'm totally serious. Please help him through this. It's not his fault. He needs you so much....and later, it will pay off.
******
An additional thought......a couple of my friends who know me well are really, REALLY, good at catching me when I'm heading into one of my moods and redirect my thinking....gently, lovingly and sometimes, really humorously. Sometimes, the way they do it actually gets me into a fit of laughter. Imagine how that would increase your bond with each other.....it does for us and we're not even married. My gratitude is so huge to them when they do this. It proves how much they really do care.
I'm assuming Borderline Personality Disorder, right?
Yeh, from what I've read results aren't that great. DBT is a type of therapy that's had some success. Some doc's have added stabilizer meds with a little success, but as far as I know there isn't a big answer there. The big issue probably is how committed he can be to therapy, working, and the relationship. If he is making strides and moving forward, hey, give the guy a shot. If he isn't, then, yes, you do need to think about you. It's one thing to support someone responsibly managing his/her illness. It's another to do so for someone who is in denial or relying on others.
Hope all works out for you.
http://www.bpdcentral.com/index.php i just found this i dont have any experience but it seemed like a legit site whaen i searched
if he is getting treatment there is a ton of hope! HANG IN THERE everything will get better/.
There is hope! Hang in there. It might take time and alot of trial and error with meds and such....but there is hope. I can tell you from experience prayer is one of the most helpful things you can do for both you and your husband! Don't give up.
There is always hope. Check out the web site for NAMI which is the national association for mental illness. There you can talk to lots of others who are in the same boat as you. It's free to join too.
What I am about to write may seem a bit harsh, but you can not hear the tone in my voice. So get the sound of a caring peron in your head and then read on.
He has BPD,
he is not stupid
he is not incapable
he is not resourceful
he is not unable
Yes life is hard for him,but that does not mean that he has a licens to be lazy or abuseive.
The fact is, it is his life to manage. Yes you can help, but he neds to do the work.
Sounds like once you got hitched, he dropped the ball... but I know, and you know, this was going to happen.
(remember caring voice)
I know exactly what this is all about.
It is also your life, and you are now magically a victom.
If you want all of this to end, it can end. If he wants all of this to end, it can end.
So, now the question is, what do you really want?
The folks at www.ilcss.org have helped others in your situation, I bet they can help you also.
Well.. I can say that a person with BPD can be fairly sucessfully treated with a mood disorder medication such as .. .seroquel, abilify, zyprexa, lithium and others.. I would try going with a newer Atypical medication as there are fewer side effects. As far as they gender dysphoria/identity... That could be more difficult.. How long did you date him before marrying him?
i know it's hard to for the people who are involved with people with BPD. i suffer from it....my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me not too long ago because i just went into an episode and i havent had one since months ago...and she just hates it cause i'm a sweet guy when i'm happy. my family (i'm 17..) has well obviously always put up with me and the crap i pull. the dozen times where the cops came to our house because of the fights ive gotten into. once he gets under control with his medication he will calm down. but did they give him medication? i know it's not fair to people like you, my family, (for some it may sound dumb and just teenish to say now) but the love of my life. make sure he goes to the therapist. always remember he does love you whether it shows or not. i hate to ask...but isn't gender dysphoria about trans people not feeling comfortable with their gender and whatnot? get him some meds....it takes about 1-2 weeks for them to finally get through his system. http://www.mhsanctuary.com/bipolar/selfc...
that's about exercise and nutrition and what to stay away from for bipolar people. don't give up on him, i know his words can be harsh...mine are to the people i love too...and for some i've hurt a lot, and they hate me for it because they gave up too early and i guess i did a poor job at showing my love for my best friends...so please don't give up on your husband. things can be okay. it just takes time.
remember this...
in order to make a masterpeice, it takes a few times to get it right.
good luck.
just sit down with him one day or talk to him while you two are in bed...just tell him how you feel and that you're scared...i hope this works out for you
Answers: Hi--Have hope, It will get better. Attitude is #1 in the treatment process for your husband.Treatment for borderline personality disorder has improved in recent years with the adoption of techniques specifically aimed at people with this disorder. Treatment includes:
Psychotherapy:this is the core treatment for BPD. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was designed specifically to treat the disorder. Generally conducted through individual, group and phone counseling, DBT uses a skills-based approach to teach people how to regulate their emotions, tolerate distress and improve relationships.
Medications:medications can't cure BPD, but they can help associated problems, such as depression, impulsivity and anxiety. Medications may include antidepressant, antipsychotic and antianxiety medications.
Hospitalization: at times, people with BPD may need more intense treatment in a psychiatric hospital or clinic. Hospitalization can also keep them safe from self-injury.
Because treatment can be intense and long term, people face the best chance for success when they find mental health providers with experience treating BPD.
Take Care ; )
Watch this free video on BPD by an awesome Psychologist. It's really encouraging!!! http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver...
Have hope...and, believe me, be glad you found out so soon and will be able to get help. But YOU must be strong. How much do you love him? You have to help him do what he needs. You will need to actually feed him his medications when he needs to take them, because he will forget or won't feel like it. I was married for twenty years and had it the whole time and we didn't even know it....if we had known, we would have gotten me the help I needed and I KNOW we'd still be together. But it was too late. It's not for you. Watch the movie A Beautiful Mind . It might help give you some inspiration and hope. People with BPD have extremely terrible inner pain....it's been researched and proven that we feel inner pain at a much higher intensity than most people. Imagine being in excruciating pain much of the time. What would that do to you? I've been on treament for just over a year now and am doing so much better. I'd be even better if I'd had the emotional support of a loving wife....I'm totally serious. Please help him through this. It's not his fault. He needs you so much....and later, it will pay off.
******
An additional thought......a couple of my friends who know me well are really, REALLY, good at catching me when I'm heading into one of my moods and redirect my thinking....gently, lovingly and sometimes, really humorously. Sometimes, the way they do it actually gets me into a fit of laughter. Imagine how that would increase your bond with each other.....it does for us and we're not even married. My gratitude is so huge to them when they do this. It proves how much they really do care.
I'm assuming Borderline Personality Disorder, right?
Yeh, from what I've read results aren't that great. DBT is a type of therapy that's had some success. Some doc's have added stabilizer meds with a little success, but as far as I know there isn't a big answer there. The big issue probably is how committed he can be to therapy, working, and the relationship. If he is making strides and moving forward, hey, give the guy a shot. If he isn't, then, yes, you do need to think about you. It's one thing to support someone responsibly managing his/her illness. It's another to do so for someone who is in denial or relying on others.
Hope all works out for you.
http://www.bpdcentral.com/index.php i just found this i dont have any experience but it seemed like a legit site whaen i searched
if he is getting treatment there is a ton of hope! HANG IN THERE everything will get better/.
There is hope! Hang in there. It might take time and alot of trial and error with meds and such....but there is hope. I can tell you from experience prayer is one of the most helpful things you can do for both you and your husband! Don't give up.
There is always hope. Check out the web site for NAMI which is the national association for mental illness. There you can talk to lots of others who are in the same boat as you. It's free to join too.
What I am about to write may seem a bit harsh, but you can not hear the tone in my voice. So get the sound of a caring peron in your head and then read on.
He has BPD,
he is not stupid
he is not incapable
he is not resourceful
he is not unable
Yes life is hard for him,but that does not mean that he has a licens to be lazy or abuseive.
The fact is, it is his life to manage. Yes you can help, but he neds to do the work.
Sounds like once you got hitched, he dropped the ball... but I know, and you know, this was going to happen.
(remember caring voice)
I know exactly what this is all about.
It is also your life, and you are now magically a victom.
If you want all of this to end, it can end. If he wants all of this to end, it can end.
So, now the question is, what do you really want?
The folks at www.ilcss.org have helped others in your situation, I bet they can help you also.
Well.. I can say that a person with BPD can be fairly sucessfully treated with a mood disorder medication such as .. .seroquel, abilify, zyprexa, lithium and others.. I would try going with a newer Atypical medication as there are fewer side effects. As far as they gender dysphoria/identity... That could be more difficult.. How long did you date him before marrying him?
i know it's hard to for the people who are involved with people with BPD. i suffer from it....my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me not too long ago because i just went into an episode and i havent had one since months ago...and she just hates it cause i'm a sweet guy when i'm happy. my family (i'm 17..) has well obviously always put up with me and the crap i pull. the dozen times where the cops came to our house because of the fights ive gotten into. once he gets under control with his medication he will calm down. but did they give him medication? i know it's not fair to people like you, my family, (for some it may sound dumb and just teenish to say now) but the love of my life. make sure he goes to the therapist. always remember he does love you whether it shows or not. i hate to ask...but isn't gender dysphoria about trans people not feeling comfortable with their gender and whatnot? get him some meds....it takes about 1-2 weeks for them to finally get through his system. http://www.mhsanctuary.com/bipolar/selfc...
that's about exercise and nutrition and what to stay away from for bipolar people. don't give up on him, i know his words can be harsh...mine are to the people i love too...and for some i've hurt a lot, and they hate me for it because they gave up too early and i guess i did a poor job at showing my love for my best friends...so please don't give up on your husband. things can be okay. it just takes time.
remember this...
in order to make a masterpeice, it takes a few times to get it right.
good luck.
just sit down with him one day or talk to him while you two are in bed...just tell him how you feel and that you're scared...i hope this works out for you
More questions & answers:
- Does any of you take Celexia for BPD?
- Is BPD diffrent in teens than in Adults...?
- Is BPD common?
- It's my birthday, but the gift I REALLY want is not going to be mine...What should I do?
- Is it appropriate to give a gift to your therapist as a token of appreciation for her time and expertise?
- Is autism a gift?
- Is bi-polar a gift?
- Its seems everyone has a gift, to make up for the bipolar.?
- Do you give your therapist a gift?
- Can counsellors accept..?
- I need help i have these wierd visions?