How can i control my anger & keep myself cool??
Answers: wen ever u r angry count till 10 n take a deep breath u ll feel btr..
When I was younger i had severe anger problems and issues with authority figures. I was a real problem case and learned form what my father used to call the school of hard knocks!
There is no pat answer for this. One way to control anger and keep cool is to confront your own anger and find out why and what is the true source of that anger. For me, my anger went all the way back to my child hood and my abusive parrents. I was an angry guy for YEARS because of them and that anger started destroying my life like a cancer. The only way I could control it was to get to the root source of my anger and go all the way back and forgive my folks and get it all out in the open. If anger is left unchecked, then it becomes bitterness which in turn eats your life away! Its like cancer and you can't get around it! thers no real way to control something that is a disease eating away at you inside. You are like a bomb waiting to expload when you need to get to the root source of that and defuse it. it was THE only way my anger and bitterness could end and it cost me dearly to keep my anger. I lost everything! I was becomming abusive just like my father who i hated so much! I was violent and so angry! I punched walls, grabbed people by the throat and thought I was so tough. if I was so tough then why couldn't I face my father and have it out with him and forgive him?
You need to get to the root source of that anger. it is THE only way! Bitterness is cancer to your life but forgiveness restores life to you. I am still suffering the consequences of leaving my anger issues unchecked. I lost my kids, my wife divorced me and I lost everything material I owned. There was even a time i found myself homeless over it. I had to start all over again.
Don't be like me, get you anger in check or it will eat you up and destroy your life!
If you have a chance, first you need to leave the room you're in, if the person who angers you is there. It's best so you don't overreact to that person and regret it later. If you have no choice, then work out your anger in your work, and take slow breaths. Empty your mind and think about other pressing issues (i.e. meeting deadlines, etc) instead of what you're angry about. Only after one day has passed, only then do you decide how to react to that person you're angry with. If possible, you can also work out your anger through vigorous exercises or through meditation. And speak to a trusted friend/family member about your problem, they may be able to give you a solution or share their own experience. You may even be relieved to find that some of them share your views as well.
Sometimes breathing exercises help, as well as physical activity, such as taking a walk. I find that sometimes telling a joke or turning a frustrating situation into a joke without directing sarcasm at anyone in particular helps.
However, if it is someone that upsets you, it's usually best to take a few minutes to think, then calmly address the issue. For example, if someone says or does something that makes you upset, take a few minutes, then calmly explain to the person that what they did caused you to be upset.
If you don't address what it is that makes you angry, you will be setting yourself up to get angry if that situation happens again. Communicating what it is that made you angry not only helps alleviate the frustration, but can hopefully make the person that caused it understand they should not do that again.
Find a good way to relieve your anxiety. This can vary from person to person, but one of the best way is through regular exercise...whether it's hitting the gym, participating in a marital art, swimming, whatever you prefer! It's a good way to find some time for yourself, and relieve that stress that you have, and really clear your mind and calm your spirits. Make it something that you really enjoy, otherwise you won't stick at it. Make it a part of your daily life!
first this is first, find out what sets you off then ya need to walk away and think. give you self time to cool of and think before you get into a big fight. you might also wanna look at medatation it will help you clear your mind and work on cooling donw and having control over your self. remember you cant controle what other people do Just you.
Remember how you normally feel and that anger is just temporary, get some distance.
Think of this as learning a new behavior, like a sport. Train yourself for the new behavior.
When not angry:
-find out the thoughts that you have when angry
-determine if they are accurate (they are usually an argument with the world)
-find more accurate thoughts.
Also, practice rehearsing new behavior.
Tools for this include:
Loving What Is - Byron Katie
Thought Process Management - Human Excellence
Nonviolent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg
You can find information on these at:
http://www.steve-cole.com
When I was younger i had severe anger problems and issues with authority figures. I was a real problem case and learned form what my father used to call the school of hard knocks!
There is no pat answer for this. One way to control anger and keep cool is to confront your own anger and find out why and what is the true source of that anger. For me, my anger went all the way back to my child hood and my abusive parrents. I was an angry guy for YEARS because of them and that anger started destroying my life like a cancer. The only way I could control it was to get to the root source of my anger and go all the way back and forgive my folks and get it all out in the open. If anger is left unchecked, then it becomes bitterness which in turn eats your life away! Its like cancer and you can't get around it! thers no real way to control something that is a disease eating away at you inside. You are like a bomb waiting to expload when you need to get to the root source of that and defuse it. it was THE only way my anger and bitterness could end and it cost me dearly to keep my anger. I lost everything! I was becomming abusive just like my father who i hated so much! I was violent and so angry! I punched walls, grabbed people by the throat and thought I was so tough. if I was so tough then why couldn't I face my father and have it out with him and forgive him?
You need to get to the root source of that anger. it is THE only way! Bitterness is cancer to your life but forgiveness restores life to you. I am still suffering the consequences of leaving my anger issues unchecked. I lost my kids, my wife divorced me and I lost everything material I owned. There was even a time i found myself homeless over it. I had to start all over again.
Don't be like me, get you anger in check or it will eat you up and destroy your life!
If you have a chance, first you need to leave the room you're in, if the person who angers you is there. It's best so you don't overreact to that person and regret it later. If you have no choice, then work out your anger in your work, and take slow breaths. Empty your mind and think about other pressing issues (i.e. meeting deadlines, etc) instead of what you're angry about. Only after one day has passed, only then do you decide how to react to that person you're angry with. If possible, you can also work out your anger through vigorous exercises or through meditation. And speak to a trusted friend/family member about your problem, they may be able to give you a solution or share their own experience. You may even be relieved to find that some of them share your views as well.
Sometimes breathing exercises help, as well as physical activity, such as taking a walk. I find that sometimes telling a joke or turning a frustrating situation into a joke without directing sarcasm at anyone in particular helps.
However, if it is someone that upsets you, it's usually best to take a few minutes to think, then calmly address the issue. For example, if someone says or does something that makes you upset, take a few minutes, then calmly explain to the person that what they did caused you to be upset.
If you don't address what it is that makes you angry, you will be setting yourself up to get angry if that situation happens again. Communicating what it is that made you angry not only helps alleviate the frustration, but can hopefully make the person that caused it understand they should not do that again.
Find a good way to relieve your anxiety. This can vary from person to person, but one of the best way is through regular exercise...whether it's hitting the gym, participating in a marital art, swimming, whatever you prefer! It's a good way to find some time for yourself, and relieve that stress that you have, and really clear your mind and calm your spirits. Make it something that you really enjoy, otherwise you won't stick at it. Make it a part of your daily life!
first this is first, find out what sets you off then ya need to walk away and think. give you self time to cool of and think before you get into a big fight. you might also wanna look at medatation it will help you clear your mind and work on cooling donw and having control over your self. remember you cant controle what other people do Just you.
Remember how you normally feel and that anger is just temporary, get some distance.
Think of this as learning a new behavior, like a sport. Train yourself for the new behavior.
When not angry:
-find out the thoughts that you have when angry
-determine if they are accurate (they are usually an argument with the world)
-find more accurate thoughts.
Also, practice rehearsing new behavior.
Tools for this include:
Loving What Is - Byron Katie
Thought Process Management - Human Excellence
Nonviolent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg
You can find information on these at:
http://www.steve-cole.com
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