Should I feel wrong to sometimes not be able to stand my son, who is 32 and leaching off of me??
Question: I can't seem to get him out of my house. He does not work, has been in prison, and thinks that he is God's gift to women.
Answers: I would give him an ultimatum. He has 2 weeks - 30 days to find a job and start paying rent, contribute towards utilities and groceries and chores or else move out. You are not helping him but instead feeding into his laziness and handicapping him from moving forward in life and at the same time suffering yourself. I am your son's age and own 4 high end houses all on my own!!! I was forced to move out and I'm a girl. I didn't like it at first but I wouldn't have succeeded in life if I sat at home leaching off of my family. By age 20 I was paying for my school, dorm and bills including help from student loans and part time jobs. Then got my apartment and various jobs and struggled like all adults do. If I stayed at home with no responsibilities and a lot of free time on my hand, I'd probably get in trouble with the law too. I think it's healthy for you to not stand the situation otherwise it means you agree that it's the best thing for both your son and for yourself which it is not.
He is using you and your are letting him. He's making you feel like you owe him a place to stay and for you to take care of him. Set a day you want him out and tell him.
Kick his sorry a s s out!!! He is too old to be leaching off of mommy.
OMG....show some tough love. It's way past time that he's on his own.
You can't get rid of him because you don't on some level want to !!!! He's not a child he's an adult he couldn't' live off of you if you didn't let him. Kick him out and if he ends up in jail that's his issue not yours. You have a responsibility for your children until they reach adult hood unless they are either developmentally delayed or physically unable to take care of them selfs. IN those two cases you make the best choices for them that you can so that they can live on their own. Why should your son grow up when you're allowing him to act like a child with no repercussions???? I have three daughters 32, almost 33, 28 almost 29 and 15 almost 16. You know who lives at home with me don't you??? My oldest is developmentally delayed and I made sure that she got the best education that I could get for her, I made sure that she was in a great program to teach her how to live on her own, and she now has her own apartment in an assisted living faclitiy and she works. The middle daughter moved out at the age of 22 when she finished college and she's been on her own since than. My youngest knows that when she finishes college if she's not in grad school she has to get a job and start her own life. You have to figure out what you're so afraid of that you allow him to use you????? Are you afraid that he'll end up in jail??? That's his choice, are you afraid that he'll end up on the street??? That also is his choice. He's an adult both of you have to start acting like it!!!!!
Sounds to me like hes kind of a loser.Sorry, but hes a drain on society and sounds like you too. No man should be living with his mother at 32 unless he is severely challenged. I say if he starts writing his name on **** in the fridge, you put his moochin *** out.
No it's not wrong to feel that way, but you have to acknowledge that you had a part in how he turned out. Time to own your mistakes as a parent. But don't let your guilt perpetuate this disfunctional situation. You need to kick him out and let him take care of himself.
GET him help, attention, and advice about what he can do. THEN you can have him move out. p.s. if he hasn't been diagnosed with a psychological condition he may possibly be able to qualify for a diagnose. email/msg me for more
You should Definatly stand up to him! He might be upset, but it sounds like it just might be the best thing for him! He can learn to be independant!!!
No you shouldn't feel wrong at all!!
What IS wrong is that your Son who is 32 refuses to stand on his own two feet.
I am sorry as a parent you will always love your Children, but you put in the hard yards and raise them up to Adulthood, you sacrifice so much in your life Lovingly & Willingly to raise them.
Then they are supposed to go off and live their life for themself and that is when you are supposed to enjoy your life, and do things for yourself that you missed out on all those years.
You shouldn't feel bad at all!!!
Be firm and tell him to get his life together, get a job and get a place of his own!!
OUT !!! this is known as tough love , assuming that he does not have a disability of some kind.
You shouldn't feel wrong to not be able to stand him. There is no reason a 32 year old man should be living with his parents, unemployed.
I need to know, who pays for his living expenses like his food, clothes, gas ect.?
If he is Gods gift to women,then he should be able to find one to move in with. Give him that opportunity. If you don't contribute to the house hold, then you don't get the benefit of it ! I heard that !!!
You have no reason to feel bad- he's taking advantage of your kindness! Kick his sorry @$$ out! The longer he stays, the worse his mooching will get. Good Luck!
He's a man ,,, ! ,, right ,? big strong provider , able to leep buildings in a single bound , but lets do get it right ,,, the biger you are the harder you fall , he's still a boy , he's trying but , he can't fly ... keep him wanting to ... someday he will.
If he doesn't get a job and move out, make him pay rent. He's grown. Have him pitch in.
Answers: I would give him an ultimatum. He has 2 weeks - 30 days to find a job and start paying rent, contribute towards utilities and groceries and chores or else move out. You are not helping him but instead feeding into his laziness and handicapping him from moving forward in life and at the same time suffering yourself. I am your son's age and own 4 high end houses all on my own!!! I was forced to move out and I'm a girl. I didn't like it at first but I wouldn't have succeeded in life if I sat at home leaching off of my family. By age 20 I was paying for my school, dorm and bills including help from student loans and part time jobs. Then got my apartment and various jobs and struggled like all adults do. If I stayed at home with no responsibilities and a lot of free time on my hand, I'd probably get in trouble with the law too. I think it's healthy for you to not stand the situation otherwise it means you agree that it's the best thing for both your son and for yourself which it is not.
He is using you and your are letting him. He's making you feel like you owe him a place to stay and for you to take care of him. Set a day you want him out and tell him.
Kick his sorry a s s out!!! He is too old to be leaching off of mommy.
OMG....show some tough love. It's way past time that he's on his own.
You can't get rid of him because you don't on some level want to !!!! He's not a child he's an adult he couldn't' live off of you if you didn't let him. Kick him out and if he ends up in jail that's his issue not yours. You have a responsibility for your children until they reach adult hood unless they are either developmentally delayed or physically unable to take care of them selfs. IN those two cases you make the best choices for them that you can so that they can live on their own. Why should your son grow up when you're allowing him to act like a child with no repercussions???? I have three daughters 32, almost 33, 28 almost 29 and 15 almost 16. You know who lives at home with me don't you??? My oldest is developmentally delayed and I made sure that she got the best education that I could get for her, I made sure that she was in a great program to teach her how to live on her own, and she now has her own apartment in an assisted living faclitiy and she works. The middle daughter moved out at the age of 22 when she finished college and she's been on her own since than. My youngest knows that when she finishes college if she's not in grad school she has to get a job and start her own life. You have to figure out what you're so afraid of that you allow him to use you????? Are you afraid that he'll end up in jail??? That's his choice, are you afraid that he'll end up on the street??? That also is his choice. He's an adult both of you have to start acting like it!!!!!
Sounds to me like hes kind of a loser.Sorry, but hes a drain on society and sounds like you too. No man should be living with his mother at 32 unless he is severely challenged. I say if he starts writing his name on **** in the fridge, you put his moochin *** out.
No it's not wrong to feel that way, but you have to acknowledge that you had a part in how he turned out. Time to own your mistakes as a parent. But don't let your guilt perpetuate this disfunctional situation. You need to kick him out and let him take care of himself.
GET him help, attention, and advice about what he can do. THEN you can have him move out. p.s. if he hasn't been diagnosed with a psychological condition he may possibly be able to qualify for a diagnose. email/msg me for more
You should Definatly stand up to him! He might be upset, but it sounds like it just might be the best thing for him! He can learn to be independant!!!
No you shouldn't feel wrong at all!!
What IS wrong is that your Son who is 32 refuses to stand on his own two feet.
I am sorry as a parent you will always love your Children, but you put in the hard yards and raise them up to Adulthood, you sacrifice so much in your life Lovingly & Willingly to raise them.
Then they are supposed to go off and live their life for themself and that is when you are supposed to enjoy your life, and do things for yourself that you missed out on all those years.
You shouldn't feel bad at all!!!
Be firm and tell him to get his life together, get a job and get a place of his own!!
OUT !!! this is known as tough love , assuming that he does not have a disability of some kind.
You shouldn't feel wrong to not be able to stand him. There is no reason a 32 year old man should be living with his parents, unemployed.
I need to know, who pays for his living expenses like his food, clothes, gas ect.?
If he is Gods gift to women,then he should be able to find one to move in with. Give him that opportunity. If you don't contribute to the house hold, then you don't get the benefit of it ! I heard that !!!
You have no reason to feel bad- he's taking advantage of your kindness! Kick his sorry @$$ out! The longer he stays, the worse his mooching will get. Good Luck!
He's a man ,,, ! ,, right ,? big strong provider , able to leep buildings in a single bound , but lets do get it right ,,, the biger you are the harder you fall , he's still a boy , he's trying but , he can't fly ... keep him wanting to ... someday he will.
If he doesn't get a job and move out, make him pay rent. He's grown. Have him pitch in.
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